The Tome of Bill (Book 6): Half A Prayer Read online

  After I’d chugged about a dozen of the pills - it’s not like they could kill me - my senses finally calmed down and my thoughts became coherent.

  Why the fuck was I here again?

  Oh yeah, Sheila. Now where was...

  “What are you doing here?”

  Apparently, she was closer than I thought.

  * * *

  I should have replied with something, but my brain seemed to have shut itself completely down.

  Sheila stood about fifteen feet away in a hallway leading from the living room. She was aglow with the flames of faith, blazing almost painfully bright - her eyes resembling miniature stars.

  She was obviously a little bit annoyed.

  She was also a lot undressed. Her damp hair hinted at the shower she’d just stepped out of...that, and the towel wrapped around her.

  I was never much of a praying man, but in that moment, I sure as fuck believed in a god. And he was a good god to allow me such a sight. If I had died right then, it would have been a happy death.

  She remained in a battle stance for a moment longer as my eyes continued to bug from my head - my brain in overdrive, attempting to etch this memory into my subconscious for all of eternity, if need be.

  Apparently sensing that no battle was about to ensue, and no doubt noticing where my eyes were roaming, Sheila glanced down at her state of undress and immediately blushed - the little bit of color in her cheeks a beautiful contrast to the white fire that otherwise surrounded her.

  A small part of me was tempted to flash my fangs and attack, if only because I had a feeling my life wasn’t going to be getting better anytime soon. There’s something to be said about going out on a high note.

  Instead, she was the one to break the standoff, pointing a finger at me. “Don’t move.” She ducked inside a door, adding just before she slammed it shut, “And don’t you dare hurt Robert.”

  “Who’s Robert?” I muttered right before remembering the other person in the room. I glanced toward him. He stood there, eyes glazed and unmoving. Compelling a human had been a shitload more painful than I’d have guessed, but I could see how handy it was in certain situations.

  It was tempting to compel him to go play in traffic or maybe find a nice friendly police officer to kick in the balls, but I stopped myself short. I didn’t know this guy for shit. For all I knew, he was just a neighbor who had popped by to borrow some milk...and just so happened to hang around while she took a shower.

  Grrr.

  A darkness stirred deep inside of me and demanded I take some action - preferably the brutal kind.

  No! That was a slippery slope. Plus, what had this poor schmuck done to deserve any of that? Nothing...except bone the one girl I had designs on.

  Oh, fuck it.

  I shook the rest of the pills from the aspirin bottle into my hand as I whisper-compelled, “YOU HAVE ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION!!” The resulting kick to my head from the effort was well worth it.

  “What was that?” Sheila stepped back out into the hall. She’d slipped on a t-shirt and pair of shorts. Not quite as nice as the towel, but pretty tasty nevertheless.

  “Nothing. I was just remarking on how...functional the décor was.”

  She still looked somewhat wary, but the aura of faith around her had died down to a barely visible glow. It flared up again momentarily when she glanced in the direction of the guy I assumed to be Robert. He continued to stand there like some android awaiting instructions.

  “What did you do to him?”

  There was no point in lying to her. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I’d allow myself to. “I compelled him to let me in. That’s it.” Well, okay; maybe I could lie a little bit.

  “You can do that?”

  “Not really. I had a bit of a boost...it’s hard to explain.”

  “Is he going to be all right?” She walked up to him and waved her hands in front of his unblinking face.

  “Yeah, he’ll be fine. It’ll wear off soon.” I’d seen enough human compulsions to be pretty certain he’d snap out of it, but having never actually done it myself, I had no idea how long that might be.

  A look of panic crossed her face and she closed her eyes. After a moment, even the soft glow around her faded to nothing. She turned toward me, a look of worry upon her face. “Is he aware? Will he remember this, seeing me like...that?”

  That surprised me. “I’m not sure. I don’t think so. He seems pretty far under to me. Wait; you mean he doesn’t know?”

  “No. I’ve been keeping it under control around him, at least until you showed up.” That last part had a bit of an edge to it, enough so that I was surprised I didn’t immediately start bleeding.

  I probably deserved it anyway. After all, I’d originally dragged her into this mess, even if inadvertently. How was I supposed to know that a few compliments on my part would set in motion the chain of events that would turn her into the Icon, the legendary foe of vampire-kind? Shit like that didn’t happen to most people.

  Of course, I’m not most people. I had the luck of being the Freewill, equally legendary warrior of the undead. Or at least I used to be before accidentally setting that muscle-headed dick up in Boston loose upon the world. Now? Well, I had no idea what I was now and it probably wasn’t the right time to wonder. “So...this is Robert?”

  “Yes,” she replied, looking somewhat uncomfortable. I could understand the sentiment. Fighting monsters of the night was easy as pie compared to some things.

  “And he’s...” I trailed off, hoping to hear cousin, friend, acquaintance, anything but...

  “My boyfriend.”

  Fuck! “And you both live here?”

  “Yes.”

  “Together?”

  “Yes, together.”

  Double fuck!

  I sat down and took a deep breath, resolving myself to get to the point of my visit. None of this was any of my business, after all. She was free to date who she wanted. It’s not like we’d ever even kissed...minus one close call that ended with me on fire. Besides, we had bigger fish to fry. The end of the world was looming and we both needed to get our heads in the game.

  “So isn’t this a little sudden?” I asked, ignoring all of that shit.

  “Sudden?”

  “Yeah. I mean, it’s only been a little over three months since...”

  “Since I was hunted by a pack of murderous vampires?”

  “Well...”

  “Who killed all those Templar who’d taken me in?”

  “I guess...”

  “Including my friend Ben?”

  “Yeah, I suppose that was...”

  She raised a hand and pointed to her forehead. “And then ended things by trying to put a fifty-caliber bullet through my skull?”

  “I can sorta understand your point.”

  “Then you can see why I needed a little bit of normalcy. I was alone, on the run, looking over my shoulder every five minutes...”

  “And...”

  “And Robert is a nice guy. He treats me well.”

  I couldn’t argue there. At the end of the day, didn’t she deserve at least that much?

  “He’s a good accountant too.” She let out a laugh. “If things ever get back to normal, I might have to let him manage the books at Iconic Efficiencies.”

  “An accountant, eh?” I quipped, unable to help myself. “Must be a real wild man on Friday nights.”

  “That’s kind of the point. Like I said, I needed a little normal.”

  Oh, fuck it, I needed to know. “So...do you...” I might have mumbled the rest.

  “What?”

  Gah! “Do you...love him?”

  “He’s a good man.”

  “That’s not an answer.”

  “I didn’t realize I answered to you. Are you going to try compelling me too?”

  “No!” I cried defensively. “I couldn’t even if I wanted to, and I don’t. I would never...” I stopped as the smile crept onto her face.

  “So why are
you here, Bill?” She took a seat on the couch, opposite of where I still sat, and stared me in the eye. Needless to say, I looked away first. God, I’m such a fucking weenie.

  “Don’t you want to know how I found you?”

  “Ed.”

  “That obvious, eh? Don’t be mad at him.”

  “I’m not. It was only a matter of time before he spilled his guts...figuratively, I hope.”

  “He’s fine. Well, not fine...”

  “Wait? Is he okay? He seemed good the last time I spoke to him.”

  “You don’t know?”

  “Know what?” Concern filled her features. I wanted to reach out and comfort her, but I hesitated. We probably weren’t quite there yet.

  I filled her in on Ed and his condition as best as I could. The truth was we still had no idea what had happened to him, how it worked, or if it was permanent. On the outside, he seemed to be fine. It was when you got to his creamy center that things got all explodey.

  All the while, Robert continued to just stand there. It was starting to get a bit creepy. Sheila, oddly enough, seemed fine with it, though.

  “So he really doesn’t know?” I hooked a thumb at the bookkeeper. “Not even with the world going all batshit?”

  “It’s not going crazy everywhere.”

  “I noticed. This place seems pretty...well, normal.”

  Now it was her turn to avert her eyes.

  “Your doing?”

  Silence met my question.

  “You know, I could have sworn I had seen mention on the news of a...”

  “Fine,” she snapped. “Yes, it’s me. Robert works late, usually well after dark. By day, I can be Sheila Williams, a girl who works the register at the local pharmacy.”

  My thought process slammed to a screeching halt at that. Williams? My first name was William. Was it just a coincidence? Or was there something deeper that...?

  “...good that he works long hours. It gives me a chance to go out at night and keep the neighborhood safe.”

  “Let me guess,” I replied, trying to focus. “You kill any vamps that happen to get too close?”

  “I’m not specifically hunting vampires, Bill. I’m keeping an eye out for anything that’s weird in a bad way.”

  “Weird in a bad way, like vampires?”

  “Yes, like vampires if I get the sense they’re a danger. But the last several days, it’s been other things as well.”

  “I can imagine. So...would you consider me weird in a bad way?”

  There was an awkward pause in the room. Yeah, I’m good at killing meaningful conversation that way. It’s not too hard to guess why I’m so popular with the ladies.

  “I wouldn’t,” she finally said. That was a relief. “Normally.”

  Oh, fuck; here it comes.

  “But Ed told me what happened...or at least, what he was told happened.”

  “You can’t trust the telephone game,” I countered lamely, fidgeting with my hands.

  “Oh, so you didn’t turn into some kind of mon... something else. Something that tore Remington limb from limb.”

  “I thought he killed you.” There was an edge to my voice and I wouldn’t have been surprised if my eyes momentarily turned black. It was not a pleasant memory for me to relive. “I kind of lost it.”

  “So when were you going to tell me?”

  “Tell you what? That I killed Remington? I kind of thought you were dead these past three months.”

  “Not that. There was no way that guy was walking out of there alive, not after what he did. I don’t care about that. When were you going to tell me that...?”

  “That I’m a monster?”

  “Pretty much.”

  “I would’ve gotten to it eventually.”

  She ignored my pathetic excuse and went on. “That’s what worries me about you.”

  “That I can turn...”

  “No. That you’re not you when you do. I saw you fighting: against the Templar, those vampires, and even those witches. You didn’t kill anyone you didn’t have to. In fact, you went out of your way not to kill. You could have left people behind, but you didn’t. You could have saved yourself a lot of trouble, but you were there for your friends.”

  “It’s nothing anyone who’s halfway decent wouldn’t do.”

  “I know, but that thing isn’t you. I asked Ed about it. He told me about Canada and, before that, with the Khan’s assassins.”

  “He did?” Jeez, didn’t the asshole have any of his own stories to tell?

  “Yes, and it all points to the same thing: whatever mercy or goodness you have in you normally - it all goes right out the window when you change.”

  “You don’t have to be afraid of me.”

  She looked directly at me, her strange silver eyes glimmering. “I’m not afraid of you.”

  “Oh.”

  “I’m afraid of what it is you turn into. I’m afraid of what could happen. And most of all...”

  “Yes?” I prodded gently.

  “I’m afraid of what I might have to do to stop you.”

  Housewarming Gift

  Robert began to stir, breaking the awkward silence. He blinked his eyes and moaned, beginning to wake from the power of the compulsion. Oh, crap.

  Sheila’s eyes opened wide in panic and mine quickly followed. When Robert last had his senses about him, he’d been ready to call the cops on me. I’d also spilled the beans about her using a fake name. This was going to require some pretty fast talking on both our parts.

  “Do it again,” she hissed.

  “What?”

  “Put him under again. Make him forget all of this.”

  “The world is coming apart at the seams,” I argued. “He’s gonna figure it out sooner or later.”

  “I’m not ready yet. Please, Bill.”

  Oh, fuck me. She could have added “tear off your own head while you’re at it and put it on the mantle as a bookend” and I’d have still done so. There was no way I could resist her plea, and it had nothing to do with compulsion.

  Speaking of which, I hoped I had enough of Sally’s juice still running through my system.

  “TAKE A LONG NAP!! THIS IS ALL JUST A BAD DREAM!!”

  I don’t know which of us hit the floor first or hardest. All I knew was that one second the compulsion came flying out of me, and the next I was studying the pattern of the ceiling tiles.

  Much to my dismay, Sheila went and checked on Rob the Knob first. At least it gave me a moment to collect my thoughts.

  She was right about everything she’d said. There was a monster in me. It didn’t matter that at the moment I couldn’t change into it. Dr. Death was still inside of me and could return at any time...albeit, knowing him, it wouldn’t be at any time that was remotely convenient for me. My inner beast was both a killer and an asshole. Talk about pouring lemon juice on a paper cut.

  It was weird. I’d never considered myself a likely candidate for having a split personality. My childhood wasn’t all wine and roses, mind you, but it was pretty decent. I’d been an only child in a middle-class household. The closest my parents had come to being abusive had been the occasional bit of sarcasm from my father, and even that wasn’t remotely close to the level I got from Sally most days. Who knew? Maybe I was more fucked in the head than I realized. Heh, if I actually managed to save the world, maybe I’d reward myself with a couple of rounds of psychoanalysis. That would be a hoot.

  That would have to wait, though. I had a big mean motherfucker up in Boston to kill first, not to mention a worldwide supernatural war to stop. It was safe to say my dance card would be pretty full for the next few months.

  I blinked a few times to clear my head and found my view of the ceiling blocked by one much more pleasant.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Nothing curling up in a corner and crying for several hours won’t fix,” I muttered. “How’s your boy toy?” Ugh, I should’ve waited to open my mouth until the room stopped spinning. It came out far
more sarcastic than I’d meant.

  “Sleeping like a baby, thanks.” She raised one eyebrow at me - looking far sexier than Mr. Spock ever had a shot at. “Is that jealousy I detect in your voice?”

  Yes! “No,” I replied quickly, my voice still a bit slurred. “I just think you can...”

  “Think I can what?”

  Oh, crap. I needed to get back to my feet and clear the cobwebs out before I spilled my guts while lying there on her floor. “Think you can maybe help me up?”

  She reached down and offered me a hand, which I took before I could think better of it. The moment my hand closed upon hers, I realized my mistake and immediately winced. A second passed and nothing happened, save maybe my palm sweating. There was no flash of light and, even better, no horrifically painful immolation of my body.

  “I’ve been practicing,” she explained.

  “I can see that,” I replied once back standing vertically. It was impressive. I’d seen her exercise control over her powers before, but it had taken some effort on her part. Now, though, she’d barely batted an eye. Harkening back to her question; hell yeah, I was jealous, and not just of Robert. It made me think of all the things I could do if Dr. Death and I could only come to some sort of agreement.

  I pushed it from my mind. There I was, standing in the same room as the girl of my dreams - holding her hand, even. It was not exactly the time to be having a pity party.

  I could have stood there like that for an eternity.

  “So, you didn’t come all this way just to compel my boyfriend into letting you see me wearing only a towel, did you?”

  “Um...no, of course not.” I reluctantly let go of her hand, immediately missing the feel of her skin. I took a deep breath and forced myself to get down to business. “We need your help.”

  “We?”

  “All of us: Me, Ed, Sally, Tom, Christy...Hell, maybe even the whole world.”

  “How is she doing?”

  “Sally? Oh, she’s as big of a bitch as...”

  “No, Christy. She was a little freaked out when I met her. How’s she doing with the baby?”